Kankuro's Woes
by extra type
Summary: Kankuro has something to say about how he is portrayed in fanfictions!


Kankuro's Woes

Kankuro's Woes.

Kankuro: Groan

Gaara: What is it now?

Kankuro: Why am I ALWAYS the pervert!

Gaara: ?

Kankuro: I just got done reading another FanFic, and I'm always the pervert in the story! Always!

Gaara: How so? I thought that was Orochimaru?

Kankuro: Well yeah, but he is the creepy one, that likes Bondage. I'm the one who like is obsessed with sex.

Gaara: Well, aren't all men obsessed with sex?

Kankuro: Well yeah, but I'm always the one who teaches you what masturbations is. And who gives you plays boys and tells you how to finger girls and stuff.

Gaara: What's masturbation?

Kankuro: No I'm not falling for that!

Gaara: What?! I really don't know!

Kankuro: sigh Well…

Gaara: I really want to know.

Kankuro: You know…..

Gaara: no I don't.

Kankuro: when you um, uh service yourself. You know…

Gaara: 0.0….oh

Kankuro: Yeah….

Gaara: No wonder I don't know what it is.

Kankuro: ?

Gaara: I've never had to service myself before. I've always had a girl helping me. Unlike…

Kankuro: Don't say it.

Gaara: YOU!! Oh burn!

Tamari: What's the burn?

Gaara: The fact that Kankuro always has to service himself.

Tamari: That's not a burn, that's fact.

Kankuro: .

Gaara: Oh burn!

Kankuro: Shut up, Nobody loves you!!

Gaara: No, as we already established. Nobody loves you, at least I get laid.

Kankuro: I get laid too…

Tamari: By whom? You know girls you pay don't count right?

Kankuro: By plenty of girls, it's too high to count.

Tamari: Sure you do.

Kankuro: I do.

Tamari: I was agreeing with you Kankuro.

Kankuro: Let's get off the subject.

Tamari: What ever you want.

Kankuro: .

Silence…….

Kankuro: What is so perverted about me?

Tamari and Gaara exchange glances.

Kankuro: What?

Tamari: It's the fact that you,

Gaara: you know,

Kankuro: no I don't, I don't stare at girls breast, like Sai. I don't make up perverted Jutsu's like Naruto. I don't see why I'm always the pervert.

Tamari: It's not that,

Gaara: You play with puppets Kankuro.

Kankuro: So?

Gaara: Well anyone who plays with puppets is…

Tamari: An automatic pervert.

Kankuro: No it doesn't. Name me one puppeteer who was a pervert.

Tamari: ….

Gaara: ….

Tamari: Jupetto

Kankuro: How was the dude from Pinocchio a pervert?

Tamari: He wanted a little boy,

Gaara: Made of wood. If you know what I mean…

Kankuro: …. confused look

Kankuro: 0.0 oh you guys are disgusting. Jupetto was not a pedophile!

Tamari: Chiyma was kind of perverted.

Kankuro: That's because she was OLD! All old people are perverts.

Gaara: No their not.

Kankuro: Name me one not perverted old person.

Gaara: …Tsunada.

Kankuro: Tsunada's a big pervert. Hello she reads the Icha Icha!

Gaara: She only does that cause Jiriya wrote them.

Kankuro: Being a puppeteer does not always make you a pervert.

Tamari: Yes it does!

Kankuro: Why?

Tamari: You stick your hand up a dolls ass Kankuro, that's perverted.

Gaara: Yeah but I bet Crow envoys it.

Kankuro: Oh my god people, Get your mind out of the gutter!

Gaara: What ever this isn't getting us any where.

Kankuro: Ok besides the fact that I'm a puppeteer, what else is perverted about me?

Gaara: Well….

Tamari: You wear Full body black Kankuro.

Kankuro: So? Gai wears freaking Leotards he's not portrayed as a pervert.

Tamari: Gai is special. You live in the dessert.

Kankuro: You wear black.

Tamari: Yeah but I don't wear full Body Black.

Kankuro: What are you saying Tamari?

Tamari: I'm saying that you are in a heavy black suit. You look like you are going to die of a heat stroke.

Kankuro: It looks cool though.

Tamari: It looks retarded.

Gaara: Hey that's not nice, Retarded people are so much smarter then Kankuro.

Tamari: True.

Kankuro: So if I took of my hat would I still be a pervert?

Gaara: Well, You would just look a lot stupider.

Tamari: You would have to take off the Kabuki makeup too….

Kankuro: What's wrong with the make up.

Gaara: It makes you look like, leering.

Kankuro: What?

Gaara: It makes you look creepy.

Tamari: You look like a descent guy with out it.

Gaara: Yeah take off the hat and take off the make up you could have,

Tamari: …some girls.

Gaara: Not as many as I get, but still some.

Kankuro: Sure Gaara you are just one regular Casanova.

Screaming Fan girl is jumping at window.

Fan Girl: I LOVE YOU GAARA! I WANT TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN.

Tamari walks over and closes the curtain.

Kankuro: ….I still don't want to take off the make up, Maybe the hat, but defiantly not the makeup.

Gaara: Why not you wouldn't be though as such a pervert then.

Kankuro looks kind of sad.

Kankuro: but then I'll look like…

Tamari: ….dad…

There is dead silence for 5 minuets as the three siblings stand their awkwardly.

Gaara: I say you stick with the perverted look.

Tamari: I agree.

Kankuro: Yeah.


End file.
